“The role of a writer is not to say what we all can say, but what we are unable to say.” —Anais Nin

Hello, my name is Angel (though I frequently go by angsaysrawr online) and I am a twenty-four year old woman, happily married to a wonderful man named Robby. I’m a woman of many oxymorons. I’m clingy yet rebellious. I’m strong yet weak (in particular aspects). I’m young with an old soul. I’m emotional but closed off. I despise restrictions and rebel subconsciously when they are placed upon me.

I am what most label a bitch; not necessarily because I’m purposefully cruel, but rather because I refuse to sugar coat and will be honest in what I think, despite the fact that it may hurt others. A lot of people feel the need to be overly kind or dismiss idiocy because it’s too mean to be truly honest, however when it boils down to it, would you rather have someone be honest with you or poke fun at you behind your back because they don’t have the balls to do it to your face? I do not expect someone to coddle me because they’re afraid I might get offended or hurt. In all reality and most who’ve been there know that often times, it’s better to hear the truth that results in tears than a lie that draws a smile.

I’m a huge geek. No, really. I get excited about new electronics and gadgets and enjoy modifying my Dell XPS Studio with new parts to improve its performance; and while I’m not OMG a diehard computer specialist, I’m pretty confident that I can hold my own when discussing computers with others who are. Along with my love of computer speak I also enjoy playing video games. You can find me online playing either World of Warcraft or Aion or if I’m not in the mood to be social (so to speak), I’ll be reeking havoc as G-d in the Sims.

Despite those tendencies, Robby and others label me a sex kitten. I’m quite open about my sexuality and I enjoy having sex with both men and women and I am not ashamed of my preferences either. I am also not ashamed to show off a little skin or to discuss my sex life unless it involves discussing it with my dad, but I mean, come on– who wouldn’t be ashamed of that?! I love sex, I talk sex, I am sex. Oh and did I mention I love sex?

I also have this tiny obsession with scouring the Cragislist’s pet section and as a result am the proud mother of 5 cats, 3 dogs, and 2 ferrets. I really should sign up for pets anonymous– there is such a thing, right?* But in the meantime, I have managed to curb my collection by adopting other cute critters and things!

In addition to my hobby of collecting pets, I also have an unhealthy obsession with DVDs. I own over 500 titles and believe me the number continues to increase each day. I’m not entirely sure when this obsession began, but I do know it started before I met Robby; so there is something he doesn’t get blamed for.

Photography, graphic design and web design are big passions of mine; though to be perfectly honest, my creativity which came so easily at one time now comes very rarely and as a result I find that I struggle with design and photography– though I’m hoping with the birth of a child that will change and the inspiration I lost will come back and I’ll regain the muse that I lost.

A certain amount of drama used to surround my internet life, especially several years ago. As a result, I ended up taking a much needed break from the internet and returned with a new perspective. Life is too short to take things like e-drama seriously and I do not appreciate nor do I tolerate its presence. I am prone to having one-sided friendships– though I find that the older I get, the less tolerance I have for it. I simply do not have the energy to deal with individuals who cannot extend past their own little world. I prefer to hold conversations with those who have some level of intelligence, and by some, let’s start with those who have the capacity to a form complete, coherent sentence (both in speech and writing). If you’re incapable of doing this, then please save us both the headache; migrate to another blog.

*I guess it would be in my best interest to start one.

Personality

“As of today, I have absolutely no regrets. I think I am a mature person who can take things in stride. I’m grateful for people in my past. They helped me get to where I am, wherever that is. But now, I am thinking for myself and sitting in on all the business transactions.”

According to the 16 different personality types, I’m an INFJ. A protector. INFJs are distinguished by both their complexity of character and the unusual range and depth of their talents. Strongly humanitarian in outlook, INFJs tend to be idealists, and because of their J preference for closure and completion, they are generally “doers” as well as dreamers. This rare combination of vision and practicality often results in INFJs taking a disproportionate amount of responsibility in the various causes to which so many of them seem to be drawn.

Usually self-expression comes more easily to INFJs on paper, as they tend to have strong writing skills. Since in addition they often possess a strong personal charisma, INFJs are generally well-suited to the “inspirational” professions such as teaching (especially in higher education) and religious leadership. Psychology and counseling are other obvious choices, but overall, INFJs can be exceptionally difficult to pigeonhole by their career paths. Perhaps the best example of this occurs in the technical fields. Many INFJs perceive themselves at a disadvantage when dealing with the mystique and formality of “hard logic”, and in academic terms this may cause a tendency to gravitate towards the liberal arts rather than the sciences. However, the significant minority of INFJs who do pursue studies and careers in the latter areas tend to be as successful as their T counterparts, as it is *iNtuition* — the dominant function for the INFJ type — which governs the ability to understand abstract theory and implement it creatively… More?.

The Crew

“Sometimes our hearts get tangled and our souls a little off-kilter, friends and family can set us right and help guide us back to the light.”

• Bryan/Pookie: brother-in-law
• Danika: my bestie/roommate
• Hillary: really good friend
• Jasmine: youngest sister
• Jason: brother-in-law
• Kristen: bestie/roommate
• Jenn: bestie/my lover
• Maren: sister-in-law
• Mccoy/Mac: Dad
• Meeka Micah Moo Moo Choo Choo (Mika): bestie/lover #2
• Rhonda: oldest sister
• Robby: darling husband
• Susie/Sus: mother-in-law

Likes

“The more things you love, the more you are interested in, the more you enjoy, the more you are indignant about, the more you have left when anything happens.”

spending time with the hubby, sex, sex toys, hanging out with friends, travel, crafts, lounging about at home, reading, video games (specifically world of warcraft, aion), coffee (specifically Starbucks), writing, computers, photography, my MyTouch, Android OS, Swype, electronics, baking, friends, music, movies, canon digital rebel xti, graphic design, meeting new people, spontaneity, web design, make-up, pepsi, dogs (specifically pit bulls), cats, ferrets, being in love, road trips, gadgets, blackberrys, staying up all night, singing, meaningful talks, in depth conversations

Dislikes

“Indifference and neglect often do more damage than outright dislike.”

drama, hypocrites, liars, coke (the drink), fakeness, lack of punctuation, disrespectful people, people who can’t drive, people who signal too fucking early, people who don’t signal at all, break lights, idjits, immaturity, grammar nazis, religious nazis who do not respect others beliefs or attempt to shove their religion down the throat of a non-believer, people who think they’re better than others, selfishness, split days off, ungratefulness

Television Shows

“All television is educational television. The question is: what is it teaching?”

• America’s Next Top Model
• American Idol
• Bones
• Angel (deceased)
• Buffy The Vampire Slayer (deceased)
• Charmed (deceased)
• Dark Angel (canceled)
• Desperate Housewives
• Dog Whisperer
• Dollhouse (canceled)
• Eastwick (canceled)
• Hercules: The Legendary Journeys (deceased)
• House M.D
• Grey’s Anatomy
• Law and Order
• Lie to Me
• Moonlight (canceled)
• MythBusters
• Numb3rs
• Prison Break (deceased)
• Private Practice
• Pushing Daisies (canceled)
• So You Think You Can Dance
• Supernatural
• True Blood
• Tru Calling (canceled)
• V
• Wonderfalls (canceled)
• Xena The Warrior Princess (deceased)

Influences

“You don’t have to be a “person of influence” to be influential. In fact, the most influential people in my life are probably not even aware of the things they’ve taught me.”

Music, has been largely influential in my life. It served as an escape for me, a place where I could go to voice my emotions, yet not expose the girl within. Mariah Carey, has been a large part of my life. Her songs “Hero,” “Love Takes Time,” and “Close My Eyes,” are only a few that I can really relate too. Some of my other influences include Whitney Houston, Madonna, Toni Braxton, SWV, En Vogue, and much much more. A part from music, I also hid from reality by reading. The stories I read let me escape by allowing me to imagine myself in the world of which was described and forget about the horrors that I faced in my life. Some of my favorite authors are Mary Higgins Clark, James Patterson, Jodi Picoult, Dan Brown, and Harper Lee. I started writing poetry shortly after my parents divorced. I was always able to express my thoughts and feelings much better then I was vocally, thus poetry became a place where I could express how I felt without having to reveal the subject of which I was writing about, which more often then not was myself. All of these music, writing, reading enabled me to deal with what so many would not have been able too. I suppose that is another reason I dived so heavily into my studies and school, unlike most who see it as nothing but a waste of time, for me it was my only escape.