For the past several weeks, I have seemed quite distant to a lot of people. Some assumed that this was due largely in part because of Jenn, which isn’t the case at all because I wasn’t talking to her either. What a lot of people fail to understand about the person I am is that I have a big heart and with that I feel emotions of those around me to a higher degree than others—all of this leads to and can only result in one thing: it drains me. A LOT.

My sudden disinterest in communicating with people is not because I’ve gotten close to someone else and therefore block out others, it’s due to the fact that any energy I had was utilized and I am working on re-energizing myself which I am unable to do if I talk with others and try and help them through their problems. I know that’s selfish and I know it hurts a lot of people, but I hope that you can at least understand that given the person I am and the fact that I feel so deeply and strongly for those I care about, it taxes me as well.

I am emotionally tired and just do not have the fuel nor the capacity to continue to hold conversations and act interested when I have nothing left to give. If you know me at all, you know that I would never ever want you to feel as if you’re being ignored but at the same time I do not think it’s fair to attempt to talk with others when I know I just do not have the energy to give what I would normally.

So for anyone who’s been hurt by my lack of desire to talk or lack of interest, I sincerely apologize and I hope that from this point forward you will understand that it’s not you or anyone else for that matter; it’s me, it always has and always will be and I hope you can forgive me for that.

Current Mood:  drained

When Robby and I were house haunting, one of the biggest factors for us was the look and space of the kitchen. I am very particular about how the kitchen is because I don’t like to feel crowded when more than one person is in there and as a result we turned down several houses due to the lack of space in the kitchen.

While I do love and enjoy the space in the kitchen we have now, I also really would like to have an island in the kitchen because I like to bake and I think it would make things easier on me. The problem is the way the kitchen is constructed which places the sink right where the bar is which means when we decided to remodel we’ll have to make a lot of adjustments, which includes knocking the bar out and then moving the sink to another location.

Despite that, I’m pretty excited about checking out Stainless Steel Kitchen Sinks for our future kitchen and I think I will definitely take a look online because I have found that generally the selection is much larger. Are there any remodels you want to do for your home or are considering? If so, what and why those changes or additions in particular?

Current Mood:  excited

When Robby and I first started to considering signing up for DirecTV we were taken aback with how many different companies had similar offers with similar packages and line ups. It was also very difficult because we heard a lot of good things from everyone who had signed with all these different companies like DishNetwork or DirecTV by DirectSatTV and it got to be a little overwhelming in deciding which company was going to work the best for us.

Ultimately what we found it boiled down to was research. We took the time to investigate all the companies we were considering which at the time was DishNetwork, DirecTV, and DirectSatTV. First and foremost we compared DishNetwork pacakges, with DirecTV packages, and DirecTV packages by DirectSatTV to see which company had more bang for the buck so to speak which narrowed the results for us to DirecTV and DirectSatTV.

Ultimately when it boiled down to it, we decided to go through the actual DirecTV corporation to ensure that government dish rules were observed properly where we live because we don’t really live in the city and wanted to make sure there were no issues regarding that particular aspect. All in all we’re pretty pleased with our purchase and are quite thrilled with DirecTV. DirecTV by DirectSatTV offers the same packages as DirecTV but seems to be widely available to those who don’t necessarily fall within the DirecTV servicing area, which is a nice alternative for those who want DirecTV service but live in an area where DirecTV does not operate.

Current Mood:  tired

Ever since I was introduced into the sex toy review world, I have been branching out a little by reaching out to other companies and offering my services. I feel I have a lot to offer to my readers given Robby’s participation in my reviews and I think it’s always nice to get the thoughts of both a man and female, especially when it involves sex.

Recently I reached out to Babeland.com as a means to expand my horizons and I am super excited to get started. I have heard wonderful things about the company from several people and the girls at toywithme.com have always highly praised them.

So for those of you who are currently reviewing sex toys and are interested in another company to correspond with, I would go with Babeland.com, given how prompt they responded to my inquiry; and while, I, myself have yet to review one of their products when I initially reached out to the company, I received a prompt response and feel that was a good indicator of the type of company I would be dealing with. I’m really looking forward to getting started and hope that I am able to provide reviews which are helpful in your sex toy decision process¹.

1. Because we all know how extremely important this is.

Current Mood:  excited

One of the biggest relationship killers (well at least in my opinion¹) is often taking your significant other for granted. The little things done out of love are expected and overlooked which often results in resentment.

For the most part, while I wouldn’t say I resent Robby, he is hurting me with his attitude of late. When he makes dinner every night I make a point to say thank you because I realize he doesn’t have to and he does it because he enjoys it and loves me. Now I will openly admit that I didn’t always use to thank him for his actions, but after a few tiffs here and there and his continual mention of feeling unappreciated for making dinner, I made more of an effort to recognize what he does.

I can’t say the same for him when it comes to me and it hurts. A LOT.

Yesterday when he came home and saw that the leftovers from last night had not been put away, he started slamming drawers and cabinets which only lead to my anger and frustration so I told him to just forget it and not worry about making dinner. He stormed off in a huff saying, “FINE!” and went upstairs.

After I calmed down, I went upstairs to talk to him and told him that he acts more like a girl then I do because instead of just telling me what’s wrong he starts slamming shit which only serves to piss me off. So he says to me, “I asked you to put the food away last night.” and I said, “Um, I didn’t hear you say that.” and he follows by saying, “Well, I said that and you all got up and so I assumed you had heard me.” I laughed and said, “We all got up to wash the dishes and clean up the kitchen because you had cooked dinner.”

Finally we were able to resolve that little issue, but then he and I got into it again later and to be honest I’m not even sure what it was about, but his negative attitude and lack of appreciation for what does get done finally took its toll and I broke down crying last night while he slept. I just feel like what I do it’s never good enough. I can do one thing but it doesn’t matter because that didn’t get done so it negates any of the effort that I put in.

I’m just tired and hurt and fed up of feeling like it’s never enough, more specifically I’m never enough. A thank you goes a long way and I don’t think that it’s too much to ask—but maybe I’m wrong?

1. Cause we know mine’s the only one that counts.

Current Mood:  depressed